When PTSD is percolating: What’s it like?




What is a day like when PTSD is active, alive and percolating.

In as little as five seconds it has grasped our consciousness with an old, traumatic, intrusive thought.

My head drops, the strong emotions churn my stomach, somehow they are alive and intense.

Some days this happens multiple times each hour, others days it can run constantly without any input from me.

No way to unring that trauma 🛎 bell.

Best I can do is limit its duration.

When active these thoughts, fear and humiliation haunt my consciousness.

My damn mind, in an insidious way, is enthralled with my worst trauma.

I beat it back, let it go, focus and meditate but he is always right under the surface.

Maybe in due time, I will Succeed but for now life has suffering.

I have come to the point where I accept my suffering.

Running from it or denying it exists, brings more grief.

Accepting my suffering, let’s me not give up. I do not not have to run, get upset or react.

Or make it any bigger.

Each day I meditate with all my intensity, taking physical actions to heal.

That is the utmost of importance.

We do not control results.

We control effort and attitude. That’s it.



3 responses to this post.

  1. What do you do when your trauma thoughts keeping running constantly for hours

    Do others have symptoms like this

    I have no time to spend having happy thoughts or enjoying normal things when this monster is running out of control

    Look at how much time I spend without any input from me

    It takes effort and time to unplug my worst nightmare that wants to dominate my mind.

    No pill will fix this

  2. Posted by Brian (SearchingForLostSoul) on February 24, 2021 at 3:26 pm

    I have those days. I have to find something manual to do, like paint the door or replace a sink. Lay hardwood floor. Prayer helps me a lot during the day also. But I still loose control. Less than I use to but more than I want.

  3. I try to stay busy and meditation can deliver me to a place where ptsd dies for a while

    We journey together

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