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I have many trophies, many accomplishments, never could turn them in for even a day with peace of mind (happiness).
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We have to become aware when we stick out, when our different thoughts and mind shows.
Some of my friends sày things consume me. They tell me I am different. I believe them. I know I am!
On a dating app, I shared my blog with an attractive female. Her response, she could never date someone who had a violent childhood like mine. My life shocked someone this bad.
How do you process that sentiment ?
Damn, more judgment and rejection. I did not abuse myself. Why should I be special, people hate because of skin color and politics these days.
Expect to be treated unfair and harsh at times. The world is not going to adjust to our PTSD needs.
I tried my damndest to fit in, be invisible, be one of the guys.
It felt like failure to be ostracized.
I judged myself as defective, as my peers did. Sports gave me status, my saving grace.
It was not happiness but it gave me some shade.
Now, I do not try to fit in.
It’s a big burden lifted. I do not need approval of others to complete myself anymore.
I see politicians with millions of loyal supporters seeking revenge.
Approval does not contain wellbeing or happiness. Movie stars would all live euphoric lives. Sadness would never visit their mansions.
Approval in fact is connected to criticism.
One who showers you with big approval, also carries big criticism in his/her bag.
Watch out!
Judgments are so impermanent, hard to believe we crave approval.
These attachments steal our focus.
Can you curb your need for approval?
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 