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An exercise of visualizing me as near perfect in the future has opened a 🚪 door.
First I examined my nervous system. Marty, calm, confident, relaxed, enjoying people. Oh my, that feels warm, soothing.
Could I visualize an open heart, connecting to others without effort.
I saw myself as being whole, healed, without worry, doubt or any unworthiness for the first time ever.
This felt like an important change but it was all abstract.
Then a trauma thought of betrayal, an emotional nightmare for me, my worst trigger, played in my consciousness.
My mind would wrestle, resist, challenge and then just suffer for an hour or so.
Then I switched into that new perfect me.
I was in observer mode, feeling detached from the upsetting emotions.
This new me could let all this fade without effort. I froze for a second, is this real.
Can this work?
I was amazed. For six months this trigger had haunted me everyday without mercy.
All my other skills failed to integrate this piece of old trauma.
Breakthroughs are amazing moments for those of us who suffer from PTSD.
My mind did not bring that trigger up again the rest of the day.
It had lost a little power.
Healing has not come easy or without feeling helpless and hopeless at times.
A wise man would assume it is part of the healing path for PTSD suffers.
PTSD has always presented itself as extremely complex.
Healing skills have been extremely simple, focus on the breath and creating a future perfect me.
PTSD has weaknesses, we need to find the small cracks and exploit them.
Always keep searching, never give up, never give in.
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 