Pixabay: mohamed_hassan
.
.
15 years ago when my childhood abuse exploded, I had no idea how life was going to change.
You would of found a different person entirely, depending on the condition of my PTSD.
At my lowest, nervous system completely upside down, shaking uncontrollably at times, life was harsh.
PTSD had clearly won at my lowest. I got lost trying to think my way out. It made things worse, I felt helpless to impact it.
Depends on when we decide to give up. That will decide who wins.
This is when willpower is needed most.
Willpower allowed me to keep trying, keep taking action, even if nothing changed.
I had come to a place where improving may never happen.
Do I give up?
Your dad will win, came a voice from deep inside.
My fathers abuse developed my willpower as a kid.
Ironic that this willpower is what helped heal me.
Our paths and abuse are specific to us, but trauma is stored the same way.
I was shocked how humble then vulnerable I had to be to heal.
That healing of our inner world is both terrifying and soothing at times.
Even if I do not heal, my effort will not wane.
Our soul, core, true self needs to know that level of commitment.
.
.
PTSD - A Way Out.com 
Posted by gaiamom on February 11, 2021 at 1:00 am
You might want to look into Tapping and/or Polyvagal therapy. They’ve both been really helpful for me. Keep up the good fight!
Posted by Marty on February 11, 2021 at 4:11 pm
I have fine tapping and poly a gal therapy
Along with emdr, eft, Taft and two intuitives
And a therapist for a decade
I healed on my own Aline sitting meditating
Funny our paths
Posted by gaiamom on February 11, 2021 at 7:06 pm
I’m going to need to spend more time with meditation. 💙 to you.
Posted by Marty on February 11, 2021 at 7:07 pm
It is well worth it
Lots of different ways to meditate
Posted by gaiamom on February 11, 2021 at 7:23 pm
I took a happiness meditation class that I really liked. My favorite is moving meditation, helps me focus my ADD.
Posted by Marty on February 11, 2021 at 9:29 pm
I understand
You can also do the Buddhist walking meditation
With each exhale take a small focused step
Posted by gaiamom on February 11, 2021 at 9:30 pm
Thank you! I’ll give it a try.
Posted by Marty on February 11, 2021 at 9:32 pm
I have a
Model to help focus and keep thoughts out
Posted by Marty on February 11, 2021 at 9:33 pm
Start slow work with three to five breath sets at first
Bring awareness to each of the four parts
Inhale
Pause
Exhale
Pause
The pauses are where we
Let thought in
Posted by gaiamom on February 13, 2021 at 9:06 pm
I’ll take all the advice I can get! Thank you.
Posted by gaiamom on February 13, 2021 at 9:07 pm
This sounds like a great approach.