PTSD takes one of two paths

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From what I know and have read, after a traumatic event, one of three things will happen.

Some will not get PTSD, in fact there is a low percentage of people who will not develop PTSD.

Some will develop PTSD within a couple of months or immediately.

If we are going to develop PTSD, being aware of it immediately gives us a chance to heal the quickest.

Then there are people like me, who develop PTSD decades later. A crisis later in life along with getting older, weaker, exposes long buried terror. My trauma kind of fermented subconsciously.

It impacts our behavior without us knowing its presence.

For me, I knew something was different, wrong, damaged about me. It was always a mystery, I had some symptoms but never knew the cause.

So we limp along through life, we have never known anything different since childhood.

My two biggest traumas were different. My dad was nuts, a violent narcissist, I was always aware something was wrong.

This other trauma was repressed into memory, completely out of consciousness for 50 years. I do not understand how. It was shocking when it exploded.

How do you deal with trauma that is 50 years old?

The PTSD emotions are that of a 19 year old, strong, almost overpowering for a 69 year old guy.

Trauma is stored at the time it happens with all the attached emotions.

Our minds try to change the event or our reaction to the trauma. How can it feel so real?

It presents itself as near life and death.

It is irrational, cognitively impossible, but PTSD has special power until we integrate it.

I have not found a path to healing without pain, turbulence and suffering.

There is no way around our trauma. No easy solutions.

Each of us must face our trauma head on if we want relief.

This is why so few heal from serious prolonged abuse.

Thoughts?

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