Rejoice: I do not know the word!

https://pixabay.com/users/blende12-201217/

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Looking for answers from others with childhood trauma.

Do you rejoice out loud in public? Do you feel safe enough, sober, to let go with unbridled happiness, laughter, care free exuberance?

There is something in me that stays vigilant, unconsciously at all times. I have never lost that fear from childhood rejection, criticism and abuse. It lives without my input.

That means with all my work, my core feels it is at risk.

Potentially I can be humiliated like childhood and especially college at any moment.

There is great panic, anxiety, humiliation and fear around these thoughts.

Common sense says this is crazy and irrational. PTSD does not care.

But PTSD is irrational, the past becomes the present, old damage comes alive.

Do you guys/gals feel safe in public? Are there any concerns, worries flowing?

Can you let go totally around people?

Do You feel danger around you?

When my ptsd was at its worst, I could not leave my house.

An invisible prison was erected around immense fear.

Rejoice.

I see normal people rejoice all the time, effortlessly letting go without any fear showing.

How can they do that?

What does your landscape look like?

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