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PTSD has had his way with me for many years. High anxiety, fear and humiliation scared the living hell out of me.
Like everyone, I suffered, avoided triggers, had constant panic attacks, but most of all, yearned to be normal again.
My first victory was calming my nervous system until my fight or flight stopped firing.
What was left were all the other symptoms, hypervigilance, avoidance, flashbacks and Dissociation.
My mind was my biggest enemy. Cognitively he buried me trying to out think trauma, trying to think his way out.
Stepping back, my epiphany moment arrived.
I had endured all my abuse decades ago. I had also endured all the shame, suffering and pain many many many times every day.
I have already suffered for the abuse, many times.
I have no reason to fear or dread what PTSD can do to me anymore.
It can only do more of the same.
Finally, that unknown piece of PTSD, how it can impact the future was gone.
PTSD’s status has been downgraded to just a big pain in my ass.
Trauma, my trauma has not healed but he has nothing new to scare me with.
There is healing and resolve in this space.
I am not completely healed, or maybe never will, but PTSD has lost more of its power.
Anything that limits us thinking about old trauma holds value for us.
https://www.pinterest.com/erinfado/
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