Pixabay: jLasWilson
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Rudid96 responds to a post “PTSD has a counterintuitive dimension”
“I’m finding that if you survive the abuse, it’s residue is far worse than the event(s). You see, that had a beginning & end. However, my mind seldom allows me freedom. My thoughts run amuck. As 2020 draws to a close, there’s much talk of goal setting, fresh starts, new interests. Try as I might, It’s so disappointing to feel that I’m floating through the days aimlessly; purpose, goals, & dreams elude me.
That’s the real devastation of physical abuse & emotional neglect: to live with the emptiness of soul, the inability to trust, the inability to connect. Will 2021 be different? One can only hope?”
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My two cents: For an event to be stored as implicit memory (PTSD), we must be terrified, in a perceived or real imminent danger event.
Our adrenal stress response fires violently, bp, heart rate and pulse spike, cortisol and adrenaline are dumped, while pain killers and coagulants secrete. Our mind , is literally out of our mind, survival becomes the sole purpose of life.
We freeze or maybe black out and the ending of our trauma is not finished inside our brains.
Healing or improving, that is integrating our trauma to present moment completes the storyline. That is why we lack an ending.
For me, I have to focus on specific actions.
My awareness becomes omnipotent. I try to let go of any trauma thought immediately.
Rudid96: “It’s so disappointing to feel that I’m floating through the days aimlessly; purpose, goals, & dreams elude me.”
My purpose is simple, intense daily action, not an abstract goal like healing.
I find that my dreams suck, my purpose eludes me, life is a big quandary. Accomplishing goals has never calmed my PTSD, achievement has not lead to healing.
I am best, when focused in this moment, mind clear of thoughts, in observer mode.
I have no purpose, no goals, no judgment, and life has calm and some freedom.
That’s what I know, it’s only this moment that I can impact.
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 