They feel that they do not have the right to exist.



Children of narcissist emerge from the crucible with a common and most serious problem.

They feel that they do not have the right to exist.

Their selves have been twisted out of their natural shape since any movement toward independence is treated as a Betrayal and something that can cause the parent irreparable harm.

The narcissistic parents philosophy of rationalized self interest prevents the child from understanding why he feels guilty about having autonomous motives.

The narcissistic parents principal, “you don’t count,” means the child’s effort to be seen as an individual is worthy of consideration if only for trying to understand that her problems are felt by the parent to be an act of treason.

The child’s move towards autonomy is greeted by the parents pain, resentment and anger, from which the child learns that becoming a separate person is wrong.

A narcissist attempts to define his children’s reality.

He tells them what they are feeling and thinking, in contradiction to what they really do feel and think.



My two cents: Reading in a book about not feeling the right to be alive, shocked me.

I was not the only one.

A narcissist isolates you as much as possible so he/she can have total control.

I see why knowing my identity is so confusing.



4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by rudid96 on February 18, 2021 at 4:09 pm

    These words, right here, right now, are the truth of how I’ve lived most of my life. Right up until last year, I felt guilty for just being alive. The power of words in this book is stunning.

  2. I have felt that way but ptsd impacts me different

    I am not afraid of it

    My fight or flight does not fire violently

    It pisses me off now

    I mean I could inflict harm on my abusers if I could

    I resent them and what they did

  3. You understand what I went thru rudid96

  4. Posted by rudid96 on February 18, 2021 at 4:24 pm

    I certainly do understand your experience and the lived wreckage. That’s why your words resonate so profoundly.

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