PTSD – A Way Out.com A mindful way to heal

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One of the female members of my mindfulness group, schooled me on my male Ego’s bias.

A pointed text, asks me why I was reacting so deeply, feeling betrayed, because of something that happened to another person (girlfriend). Never thought of this event in that way.

She said I was only going to heal by taking ownership over my own reactions, taking responsibility for letting the past impact today. Wow, that should of been my line.

As a male at 20, I did not realize how my judgments probably damaged my girlfriend more.

I partially blamed her for being gangraped. My hurt blinded me, seems a lame excuse for a seasoned meditator looking back, now.

We as males were indoctrinated that our significant others behavior is a reflection on ourselves, something we need to control.

I grew up without a functional attachment to either parent, this void placed enormous weight on my first girlfriends role, unbelievable unfair, I see now.

It is the opposite of everything meditation/mindfulness taught me.

The external can not touch or harm our core. Who am I can not be deminished by anything external. I lost sight of this.

We all have blind spots, this was mine.

Feeling betrayed was my mistake. I teach non judgment, feeling betrayed is a huge, inaccurate judgment.

I paid a heavy price for adopting this victim role.

For me, a students wisdom has shined a light forward.

I have always found, healing happens in a state of humility and vulnerability.

Thank you Marisia.

Please share your insight on the male Ego and women?

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