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I found trauma stored in my body and nervous system, running up and down my spinal cord.
These stored energies carry anxiety, fear and confusion.
They feel awkward, unsettling and scary when we deny or avoid them.
How do we handle this part of PTSD?
When I meditated, I was a focused detective, feeling every small sensation intently.
I would take my breath to any agitation, unrest or full blown adrenal stress response.
Learning to let the storyline go, helped me observe the physical manifestation of my PTSD.
Exploring my inner world calmed my fear.
In the end, we seem to be afraid of our own body functions.
Our bodies reaction does not carry the scary message, it is the storyline we buy into that causes the fear and panic.
Without the storyline involved, we stand a good chance of absorbing all that unrest.
Surrendering to the fear, the body sensations, settled my nervous system.
It took practice to trust, to build the courage to surrender to my fears.
It took a curious attitude to explore my body sensations thoroughly.
Even my fight or flight mechanism became a friend.
Later I learned to fire my fight or flight and then use the energy to hike.
My fight or flight mechanism held no real danger for me after surrending to its power.
Once my fight or flight mechanism settled down and the rest of the body sensations were absorbed, PTSD had lost over half its power.
Every time I felt a body sensation during the day, I would surrender to it.
I did not heal all at once, or quickly, it was a daily chipping away at the boulder of trauma.
I healed in small daily increments.
Everyday I looked to minimize PTSD’s hold on me.
It is a process, an accumulation of daily work.
I left goals alone and placed all energy into action.
Healing will take care of itself if we do the work.
Good hunting.
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PTSD - A Way Out.com 
Posted by Marty on July 9, 2020 at 1:48 pm
When we rest in the middle of our. Odd sensations without judgment, they are revealed to us.
Without our fear and tension, the stored energy and upset have a way of escaping out of our bodies.
It is like a dry sponge dipped in a liquid, it absorbs.
One time only eliminates some of the trauma, repeated dipping is needed.
Healing is so complex, this is a simple action
The hardest thing about our journey for most, is that first step, that takes,in even a small action moves us from victim to something else, anything else
Posted by Guinness on July 10, 2020 at 12:29 pm
I came onto this blog the other day by accident.
I am 68, been under anti-depressants the past 35 years. I had heard of PTSD of which there is very little information in the USA. This was the first I had ever heard of C-PTSD.
I cried hard as I read your “symptoms” (I dont know of a better word) as it was exactly the words I could never find to describe the feelings that were part of the persecution complex my parents told me I had as a child.
I blocked my entire childhood, blaming myself for never fitting in.
I have taken the steps to start seeing a specialist, something I had given up on years ago as I was convinced it was me. Lots of parents get divorced. Why was I taking it so hard unless I wasnt strong.
I now have a better sense of what I am dealing with.
I dont feel alone anymore.
Posted by Marty on July 10, 2020 at 12:44 pm
We were helpless little boys and girls
It is very confusing , irrational by its definition
You will find you have stuck parts that protected us for survival but stayed behind
Search complex Ptsd on my blog and you will find many posts
If your going to see a therapist find one using mindfulness
The two therapies are ACT
Or acceptance and commitment therapy
And
DBT dielectric behavioral therapy
I like ACT better
These use mindfulness to support a CBT approach
Dissociation is the one symptom you need to focus all effort upon
Calm you nervous system first and healing is much easier
Posted by Marty on July 10, 2020 at 12:49 pm
My childhood is mainly blocked out
I have a few memories very few in fact
I had an event buried 50 years explode two weeks ago
We have to learn to not judge ourselves
Add daily affirmations to strengthen your self image
In this moment, right now, I feel my body overflow with approval, safety, and kindness
Say it out loud and record it
Any time negative thoughts appear repeat it
Physically substitute this affirmation every time you leave this moment to go into our trauma thoughts
Posted by cjnovack on July 11, 2020 at 12:27 pm
All my life I knew I had a crummy childhood but thought that the healing was natural upon realization that it was the source; I would evolve out of the feeling. I never realized that “shame” was an emotion, and my thought processes were ingrained to feel it as natural. The degree of this emotion (which I am still grasping) was my cross to bear in life. If I wasnt rising above this sensation, I wasnt trying hard enough or not doing enough to offset it somehow,.,.,, Never grasping that it is not the normal way to start the day.
Affirmations to myself, looking into a mirror and seeing the face I had been avoiding for over 60 years, wont be easy but necessary to replace the affirmations to myself in my head, unconscious, that keep repeating.
Posted by Marty on July 11, 2020 at 1:19 pm
There is so much more going on and we create a storyline to go with our childhood.
Realize that childhood trauma forces us to do things to survive that are not great for us in normal life.
Certain parts of our personality get stuck in our childhood.
My anger was a stranger to me, it scared me. Around my father if I used anger, harm would of been the consequence.
So amber was an unused emotion. We have subconscious things we do, that hinder relationships and life itself.
Staring myself in the mirror without saying anything touches our soul. We feel unworthy and the reflection we see is distorted with childhood trauma and an unworthy self image.
Your ego will help bring many excuses forward so you do not continue this action. Your ego will lose some control if you self image improves and some of those detrimental thoughts fade away.
Know that the difficulty you have looking in that mirror is proportionate to your abuse.
We must endure some pain to improve.
It was painful to look into the mirror and say, I love and accept all of me.
I thought that was one big lie and had a hard time saying it outloud.
Hearing your voice repeat this over and over impacts more parts of the mind.
If you want to heal invest time everyday with this mirror work, with meditating for 10or 20 minutes, then being aware of how much time you spend in the present moment and how much time in the last
Become more and more aware of where you mind I’d focused.
Think about the idea, where I place my attention decides my life
Think about your trauma and suffer
Stay present and improve
Posted by Marty on July 11, 2020 at 1:29 pm
We carry some of our trauma subconsciously buried but make decisions without understanding their impact
For 50 years I had buried a trauma that sabotaged my ability to trust.
We need to build your ability to focus on your breath do you can release the trauma from your mind and body.
We could zoom and I can help you improve
I can give you tools and direction
Healing is entirely on your shoulders
If therapists would inform every client about this more would heal
A therapist or a pill will not heal uou