In transition again



Volunteering, facilitating a mindfulness group, has come to an abrupt end.

I never thought someone would manipulate and deceive a mindfulness group for months.

For 6 plus years, every week I hosted a free mindfulness group.

If someone did the work and had questions, I supported them via text during the week.

I witnessed people changing their lives, improving from challenging disorders.

When a predator enters your group stealthily, acting the part of an authentic person trying to heal, trust is shattered.

This scenario did not end well, the predator hiding after being confronted.

Interesting how quickly they become a coward.

No remorse at all.

Some do not care the damage they inflict on others in their selfish pursuits.

I guess I am naive, never considering someone would enter a mindfulness group with evil intentions.

Volunteering has placed my mental health at risk, so I quit.

Now, I search for the next door to open.

Purpose has taken a hit.



12 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by rudid96 on February 8, 2020 at 3:07 pm

    Each individual is responsible for the care of their own heart and intention. Mindfulness is but a simple yet powerful tool. Even such a beautiful tool as this can be twisted when the intention to fuel one’s Ego dominates. Perhaps that is why I shy away from group participation. My practice too new, my understanding fragile. It cannot handle the Ego driven intentions that take me off this path to which I cling.

  2. Thank you for sharing

    It is a balance of helping others but protecting yourself

    Hard for me to be as effective now that my guard is up

    The monk at the Zen center said that some say all the right things and know the appropriate things to say but on the path, theft are not

    Some want others to see them in a certain way

    The Ego shops in strange places for approval

    I refrained from writing about this, but being authentic is sharing the bad stuff also

    This situation triggered me and destroyed my group

    I have strong emotions that have calmed

  3. Oh, I’m so very sorry that happened. This person is so filled with evil and they don’t even admit it. That’s horrible! I totally understand this has you in a bit of a difficult situation mental health-wise. I really hope you find some new purpose soon.

  4. Thank you

    Viewers have asked me why my posts make life seem easy

    It is not

    My path is to be aware of my emotions and judgments towards this person

    We may practice to keep our Egos in perspective but he/she is always present

    Volunteering resembles life

    Risk and predators are mixed with the good

  5. “I refrained from writing about this, but being authentic is sharing the bad stuff also”

    Thanks for sharing this. I always appreciate the authenticity of your posts.

  6. Your welcome

    I do not want to make it seem you just need to meditate and life is easy

    Not even close

  7. Thank you so mutch. You wright I wil fix it tomorow. phil

  8. Thank You for sharing Marty. Such a tragic situation for you and the others who were gaining so much from your dedication in volunteering to do this. It sadly is not uncommon for someone on the inside of a group to bring it to its knees.

    As anyone who has been on the treadmill of dealing learning and living with PTSD and CPTSD will know that just one thing will make life easy. Meditation, mindfulness, relaxation, exercise all help us so Thank You for all you have done. Be kind to Yourself.

  9. Thank you for your kind words

    When I meditate I ask for seeing outside the box for new opportunities to give back

  10. Posted by rudid96 on February 11, 2020 at 7:47 pm

    My heart weeps for the loss to the group you’ve led. These daily “Marty” posts have been a constant in navigating the labyrinth of living with Complex-ptsd. Some days are just too hard. And then, a light, words from the Marty post play out on my screen. Mindfulness, the Here and Now of Living, Releasing the Ego, the Simplicity of the Breath, etc., etc. May you have fresh eyes in seeing the next path of the Healer’s journey. With Gratitude

  11. Thank you for the kind words, i hope a few find help from my blog.

    I wish I could get in front of those who are ready to take action.

    I could help many of them.

    Thank you again for sharing your gratitude.

    It means a lot to know we share this journey

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