Let’s talk Victimhood




This is an extremely volatile word on any PTSD discussion board. Many PTSD sufferers lose their minds, becoming irate and aggressive.

The discussion board taught me Victimhood demands congruence.

My sin was writing, we can heal with daily work.

You find out how hateful people can behave, being anonymous on a discussion board.

Victims could not stand having a non-victim in their midst.

The great divide between these victims and myself, was responsibility.

One communal thought shared, we can not heal from Complex PTSD until the DSM recognizes it as a disorder.

Unbelievable how many excuses are created to avoid taking responsibility.

Fear dominates their lives.

Yes my father abused me violently, but I am responsible, now.

When I was blaming my father, being a victim, I suffered.

I maybe be a victim in the future, but it will not be for long.

Please have the courage to take responsibility for your life, take action.

Taking a positive action (step) to heal, however small, is a giant step out of Victimhood.

I maybe damaged physically and emotionally, riddled with flaws, but unworthiness has no foothold inside me.

This sounds arrogant writing, but I refuse to be or act like a victim.

When I catch myself feeling sorry for myself in a weak moment, it disgusts me.

I would rather die taking responsibility, whatever that entails, than live feeling sorry for myself.

We die the same day, same hour, same minute, if you suffer as a victim or live free and risk.

We have a choice.

This may generate a few responses.



9 responses to this post.

  1. Got it right, Marty……but to most of us those words are too difficult to ponder.
    but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel!

  2. Thanks for your input

    I agree we avoid

    Words are just words

    I use to say if any word can cause you such pain how can you heal

    My goodness the path to healing has many large obstacles

    The word victim has no real power

    It’s a judgment a mirage

  3. I understand your point of view, and yet I believe some degree of compassion for oneself (which may come across to others as self-pity) is normal in the healing process. I still feel sorry for myself at times, but I still try to take responsibility for my life. Just so you know, I don’t live a “normal”, independent life and part of taking responsibility for my life has been accepting, demanding even, the care I need. This has been judged by many people, including mental health sufferers and professionals, but I don’t care.

  4. Thanks for your opinion. It is ok to feel sorry for ourselves at times.

    Venting, grieving what we lack is fine once in a while.

    I joined your blog and commend you for your attitude and heart.

    You inspire me


  5. i used to be very much a victim. “why me?” “they did this too me”, “i’ll never get better”, “i can’t do this” etc…. lots of blame and no ownership of anything i was doing wrong. i have come a long way since then but i still have my moments

  6. It is ok to have times of lows but we can limit them and make them infrequent

    I used to blame my ex wife for her behavior

    My therapist asked me why I chose to stay and participate

    What was my responsibility on my life

    I changed how I judged

  7. i had a very bad relationship with my ex and i mostly blamed myself at first which made me suicidal and then i got angry at her but now that i see things clearer we were just a disaster waiting to happen and i’ll be better off never seeing her again but i’ll just let it be like i have for over a decade now. honestly i hardly remember our time together at all. i don’t think about it much. it’s not something i try to remember but i was angry for a long time. i still get angry about things sometimes like after my friend died in february i was so angry at every little thing that went wrong and soooo much huge shit WAS going wrong and i was drowning in it and i was pretty angry and negative but i had just gone through a psychosis that lasted for months and then my friend ODed not long after she tried to get me to take her back as a friend after we had parted ways so of course i had guilt but i had good reasons to stay away from her for my own well being. i have come a long way the last couple years and it was necessary for me to let go of people who were getting in the way of my recovery in order to have made this progress. my friends were all heading in the opposite direction. anyway, i’m not mad at them anymore either but i also wouldn’t rush to let them back in. but yeah, i agree. we all have rough moments. most of the time i am at peace with where i am at and even grateful for it

  8. That part of your journey is over, you learned from the experience

    The place we need awareness is when we choose friends or a mate

    Do not let desire cloud your choice.

    We always have total responsibility for our happiness.

    Happiness is an internal way of feeling, of being, of living.

    External objects do not last.

    My desire for approval, my feeling of lack, not wanting to be lonely, occupied my time.

    Responsibility did not get air time

    My journey had many setbacks and dips.

  9. Thanks so very much! You inspire me too.

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