Updated: Motivation

What is the most important skill to look for in a therapist?


Knowledge of multiple therapies, timing, knowing when and how to apply his/her wisdom, adept people skills, or empathy.


For most clients the greatest skill needed, is the ability to motivate them to take action.

Let’s look at our healing time. Having a weekly therapy session gives us four hours a month in session.

That means we have 668 hours a month on our own.


It is obvious to me healing happens in those 668 hours not the 4 in therapy.

Unless you are highly self motivated, taking action between therapy sessions seems highly unlikely.


Healing takes your daily action and attention. I know how hard it is for someone to meditate for just 15 minutes a day.


The ability of your therapist to motivate you decides if you improve or suffer.


The ability of your therapist to convey this truth is crucial.


It is my responsibility to take action.


How many people share that conviction.


The skill to motivate is not taught in our college curriculum.


PTSD is at epidemic levels. In my opinion, only a small portion of those suffering reach a therapists couch.


Many are never diagnosed, others do not have insurance or financial ability to afford help and few ever seek a second therapist when the first is not a match.


What do you value most in a therapist?



13 responses to this post.

  1. I value my therapist’s honesty. Unlike most people who don’t have insurance, I have services through a state grant. I am working hard to improve in so many areas, but I learned through him to take 1 step at a time. After a year, I have begun to trust him. That is a HUGE accomplishment for me. The work I have committed to do with him is the reason I have started this blog of mine.

  2. Good for you. I believe simplifying our task or starting out small is the way to go.

    You do not have to take big steps but small ones are required.

    Congratulations and thanks for sharing.

  3. Thanks and I love your blog

  4. I value being spoken to like an equal. If I get the sense that I’m being talked down to I tend to push back like a stubborn child rather than get motivated to work on healing.

  5. So you value being spoken to like an equal.

    Then you need to search out a therapist who values you.

    You chances of healing increase when both sides compliment each other

    Thanks for the input

  6. Great post, Marty. I value honesty, and knowledge about the different approaches to therapy and being open to what works for me. I value being respected and being seen as a person, not a label. And I really value when my therapist knows when to push, and knows when to take it slow.

  7. I agree Ashleyleia!

  8. What makes it tough for me, is that I am a social worker at the Masters level which is considered a mental health clinician. Two of the therapists I have seen before the one I see now were difficult to interact with because of that gray space between being a fellow Mental Health professional, and being a patient or client.

    The person I see now has 47 years of experience in the business, he is a pretty high ranked psychologist, and he has a plethora of different approaches and competencies he can apply in working with me. —- And he talks to me like a regular person who is suffering from cpsd, not a fellow clinician.

  9. Thanks for your insight. Being on the other side will give you insight when you help others.

    We want our healers to be invested in us, to care. That feeling comes through.

    Being treated with respect, never being judged or condescended to is a necessity.

    It sounds like you have a great therapist.

  10. Thanks Alexis,

    When I played professional baseball some of the coaches demonstrated skills I have never experienced the rest of my life.

    They were masters of motivation and reading people. Some players need approval, some a kick in the ass and a few need to play somewhere else.

    They knew how to motivate men, what buttons to push. They were accomplished, respected and inspirational.

    We all crave respect and competency from our therapists it seems

  11. wonderful encouragement for healing
    with the help of experienced practitioners 🙂

  12. Thanks for the gratitude and opinion

  13. https://havenreverie.wordpress.com/ great post its inspirational and encourage other.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: