Surrender: a great tool for healing, wellbeing (Happiness)

Healing was incremental for me, each plateau reached through concerted action over months. Nothing came easy or quick.

Complex PTSD from a childhood does not heal miraculously, quickly or easily. The mind was not fully developed when trauma entered its world. Hard to tell what is normal and what is the aftermath of abuse.

Aerobic exercise, therapy, reading, meditating, practicing acceptance, applying mindfulness and persistence each brought benefits for me. Sometimes all hope seemed lost but something inside refused to give up.

This trait is very important. Lots of setbacks, even perceived losses on this journey. That inner guide can be our savior in our low moments.

Meditating and mindfulness carved out a small secure space for me to survive. This space grew incrementally as I healed.

It was like climbing a ladder, each successive rung revealed more of the horizon, more of the path.

Acceptance was difficult, releasing the shame and guilt reached a sticking point. My fear, worry and confusion kept me paralyzed for months.

I still had resistance, actually I was terrified, enforced with cortisol by my fight or flight mechanism exploding. The drugs are real, the storyline is the mirage.

Being vulnerable, that is surrendering completely in the face of my trauma, broke the traffic jam. It was scary not to resist, to be so vulnerable, so defenseless.

With arms outstretched, totally open, I pictured my heart as a butterfly net.

I had found the next step, being vulnerable, surrendering to my fears.


This exposed my fears so I could observe them.

Try surrendering the next time you meditate.

12 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Laurie Schuler on April 2, 2019 at 4:39 pm

    Very Powerful!!

  2. Counter intuitive
    Strength or more control is gained not through power but surrender

    Being vulnerable

  3. Posted by rudid96 on April 2, 2019 at 6:04 pm

    Thank you for your posts. So often I find they’re so right now, I’m in some part of this process at the moment. Complete surrender is too scary a thought but in tiny steps it I’m body is willing to test it’s limits. Crazy as it may seem, people walking behind me can send me into a tailspin. I’ve finally gotten up the courage to ask my therapist to help me practice so I can travel. One step forward Yah?

  4. Thank you for your gratitude. In the middle of healing, we do not know where the goal posts are located.

    I would work hard and process the trauma currently running. There would be a brief pause of a couple of days as a new piece of my childhood abuse arrived.

    I learned that my meditation practice, my ability to focus and let go could protect me.

    Anxiety, panic and fear can be gobbled up using the breath.

    Ridid96, congratulations

    Your actions and courage have helped you survive and fight. Give yourself a kindness bath and smile

    People staring at me summoned that shamed child into panic. My adult body was no match for my complex ptsd

    Take risks like asking for help traveling. We do not have to win to heal or be happy, we only need to live fully with a good attitude.

  5. Funny how things arrive in my consciousness now.

    Try surrender on minor things first.

    Maybe pick someone whose behavior adjectives us a little. Surrender to the negative thoughts, judgments and emotions that surface.

    Maybe waiting in traffic or in a line at the bank.

    Explore how your inner world reacts to people or situations.

    For me being an 67 year old male, seeing young adults with rainbow hair, piercings and tattoos brings my judgment machine out of hiding.

    It takes practice to let my judgment go.

  6. Posted by fibrolighthouse on April 5, 2019 at 4:02 pm

    Releasing shame- that’s a tough one! ♥️

  7. Yes releasing shame is difficult. You start by building your focus then releasing judgments and thought.

    Next we can work on guilt. Then shame can be dealt with

  8. Marty, nice post here. I like how you detail your experiences with PTSD. I am so sorry to hear about your experiences, and I hope that things are getting better now. I like your point about surrender. However, I do have to ask, surrender to what, or to whom? You see, surrender is a great alternative, if only we are surrendering to the Lord. The Lord our God has made many promises to us, he said that if only we would believe in him, trust in him, and live according to his word, he said that he would come through for us. He has said that we should not be fearful or worry about anything, he said he is in control, and that he would make things work in our favor. Yes, if you surrender to the Lord, you can trust that things would go well for you. God is real, and he really is able to make things happen in our favor. Like a father, he watches over us, and constantly works to make things work out for us. Whether we are aware of it or not, God’s love for us is deep and he does not ever lose hope in us. When there is no more to hope upon, he hopes on hope itself, and he wants us to see the light, and come to truth. I am certain that the Lord can help you. Yes, you will still need to go to see a doctor. God gave doctors the knowledge that they have for a reason. Nevertheless, God has the final say on what happens in the end, and for this reason, prayer is also a strong component in healing.

    God says in Isaiah 41:10
    “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
    Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
    I will strengthen you and help you.
    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand”.

    God says in Jeremiah 29:11
    “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”.

    The Bible says in Philippians 4:6
    “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done”.

    I am convinced that the Lord led me here for a reason. God wants to reach out to you. If you do not yet have a relationship with the Lord, I would strongly suggest that you begin one. A relationship with the Lord starts with faith in the Lord, prayers, obedience to the word of the Lord, and a passion for Christ. If you already have a relationship with the Lord, that is good, keep working to deepen your relationship with the Lord, and I am sure that he would come through for you somehow.

    God is ready, the question is, are you?

    If you want to know about God in more detail, you can find further information here And Here

    May God’s blessings be with you, Amen. ❤ ❤

  9. Thank you for your response

    I surrender to my fears, worries and doubts

    I surrender to the ego we create

    For the other question, I grew up catholic and went to catholic grade
    School and high school

    After well it still goes on how the church has protected
    Pedophile priests, destroyed evidence and reintroduced that pedophile into another school

    I guess I would say I am a hybrid Buddhist

    Gratitude and kindness are at
    The core of my behavior and I think I am much better much happier without organized religion

  10. Marty, in religion, we see the acts of the people. In all truth, the priests are just ordinary men, they too make mistakes and have their failures. Their conducts says nothing about the character of God. A person’s connection to their creator can happen outside the context of organized religion, and God is looking to have a deep connection with you.

  11. I believe faith is a good thing.

    We must trust God if we believe and not worry but live freely

  12. It is good to know that you hold this belief. May the good Lord continue to bless you, Amen.

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