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In the words of John Welwood, a psychotherapist and pioneer in integrating psychological and spiritual work,
“Though you often try to get others to understand you, the understanding that heals the most is your own” (2006, 117).
Part of self-kindness is letting go of harshness when you realize you aren’t being kind to yourself.”
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My two cents: This is a point of contention for me, being raised by a violent, critical narcissist.
We become our most vocal critic.
Self kindness feels awkward, unfamiliar.
We can and need to change this attitude.
Practice, practice, practice.
In this moment, right now, I shower myself with inner peace!
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Posted by Paging Mrs Zen on September 16, 2018 at 3:24 pm
We tend to do what we were taught. If we were unrelentingly criticized then our negative self talk reflects that. I used to be my toughest critic. Very harsh and unforgiving. That’s what I instinctively new.
It wasn’t until I had a child that I realized the patience, love and kindness I wanted to give her, was the same kindness I was failing to give myself. You can’t give others what you don’t have. She was my sole reason for change. So glad I learned to be more gentle with myself, gentle, loving, kind and forgiving.
Posted by Marty on September 16, 2018 at 9:21 pm
My unworthiness surfaces under stress, increased pain or tragedy. The recent suicide has brought grief.
Posted by michaeldepth on January 2, 2019 at 1:16 am
In my practice I find that most of my clients struggle with self acceptance. They are quite harsh towards themselves. Practice over and over self love is essential.
Posted by Marty on January 2, 2019 at 3:15 am
Agree totally