A great friend loses her battle with Bipolar disorder



I found out Thursday at my mindfulness group, Mechelle had committed suicide. She had a troubled childhood complicated by bipolar symptoms.

This news was shocking for all that knew her. She had changed her life, exhibited incredible bravery, discipline and focus. I met her at NAMI, she was a volunteer, always helping others to a fault.

I have facilitated a mindfulness group for five years. Mechelle improved the most, overcame the most and worked the hardest of anyone in those five years. She was an inspiration to others in my group. Her insight always made a great dynamic foil for my technical expertise.

This is shocking for all that knew her. I have been lost, scratching my head, trying to understand. Balancing her meds  brought intense fear into her life. She had other stressors she kept secret.

We will never find out what happened. Her life was the best for three or four years until something went wrong.

For me, not being a trained therapist.  I now see the danger of helping at risk people. Earlier this year I received a text from Jennifer’s niece. Jenifer followed me the longest, healed and found self worth for the first time in her life.

She also made great strides in healing. A few months ago that text informed me she passed away overnight.  

This year I have lost the two ladies that I have helped the most. It shakes me to my core. After much thought, my take is that I helped them enjoy the best part of their lives.  

I judge my giving as positive and my journey more difficult than I imagined. I see how life is so unfair.

It reminds me that all we have is today. We may be gone tomorrow. Hug those you love and tell them, express it.




9 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by chickenlittle2017 on September 8, 2018 at 2:46 pm


  2. Posted by chickenlittle2017 on September 8, 2018 at 2:46 pm


  3. Posted by jeanetteirene on September 8, 2018 at 7:01 pm

    Well said in this whole article. Those helping the at risk just need to hold that we are helping them enjoy as much Earthly soul time as possible. I often think we chose our challenges to ‘get through’ before we are even born, choosing our parents, and all. I have also, often, thought, that as we do ‘get through successfully, our challenges, and we complete our set out task for this live’s visit, then we can also choose to exit this Earth plane. I accept that these older souls may have finished their tasks here, and just want to move forward with going ‘home’ to our other energy field, and await a new incarnation/adventure.
    have done a lot of healing these past 4 years. I can honestly say that I am enjoying this human life in a way I never did before. I am open to the beauty of the Earth, and of nature, and of the psoitiveness of human interactions. And, I can say that, sometimes when I meditate, and I travel to a ‘lifted’ soul place, I sometimes do not want to come back. It is so enticing to stay.

    A couple weeks ago I was doing my morning meditation. I felt my spouse, Jim being present. It was if I was having an internal conversation with him and the energy in my heart chakrah was tingly and alive. Part of me knew I had to come back so I can be the human I am and go to work. But I sooooooooo didn’t want to.

    I invite us to not assume that someone ends their life because they are in so much pain. And we need to not feel like we ‘missed’ something. Deciding to end the physical plan life, only to continue back to ‘home’ and the most beautiful love and knowing, it a choice. Older souls know this truth.

    Just some other perspective…..
    Author of Journey to a Safe Harbor, a mind, body and souls journey healing loss, PTSD and addiction

  4. Thanks for that

    I am reflecting and exploring ways to handle grief

  5. Posted by Paging Mrs Zen on September 8, 2018 at 9:19 pm

    Oh my. Marty I’m really sorry for your loss. I’m sure they were most grateful for the support you gave them. I like your take on it. That you helped them enjoy the best part of their lives. ❤️

  6. Sorry -I like your attitude of your help. It’s a hard job to not take serious.

  7. Thanks for the kind words and insight.

  8. Posted by Anonymous on September 11, 2018 at 10:17 pm

    Jeannette’s comments can be quite triggering for someone who struggles with suicidal thoughts.

  9. Anonymous, sorry you are triggered by a response. Please seek some help if you have suicidal thoughts.

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