What questions do you take into a new Therapist?




Do your clients improve, heal in a timely manner? Please share!



Do you demand your clients do homework, take action everyday to heal?



Are you invested in caring about your clients healing, wellbeing?




Therapists are taught to be neutral, not my definition of a healer!



Do you feel an urgency for me to heal as fast as possible?



This one is from an online therapist, “How do you practice self-care”?  (https://boundariesofthesoul.com/2018/02/01/the-one-question-you-really-need-to-ask-your-therapist/)



Could you damage yourself using this broken mirror?  Someone thinks so!



The most important question is asked before you go to the therapist, looking in the mirror.



Am I willing to take action, all out effort to heal?



If you answer yes to that, eventually you will find a therapist who fits.



Took me many therapies, many therapists before I stumbled on a mindfulness based ACT therapy.



If we want to heal, we never give up, never diminish our effort on this healing journey.



Healing is our responsibility, not that therapist.



That therapist will not heal you!



Pick a good one and they will help you heal!

10 responses to this post.

  1. These are extremely relevant and appropriate points to take to a therapist. Don’t be afraid to ask and voice this.

  2. Thanks doc,

    Hope this throws you some traffic.


    Check out his blog and find some answers from a professional

    Knowledge is important but wisdom

    That is knowing how to take action with that knowledge is what heals us

    I recommend searching online for therapists and healers.

    Read what they have to say and follow their experiences and learn

    A therapist who is a devoted meditator combines many skills

    Heal ourselves from the inside

  3. I would ask 1) What is your understanding of cPTSD and the effects it has on people? 2) What do you think the best treatment for cPTSD is and have you successfully treated people with this disorder? 3) How many clients have you dealt with who are adult children of narcissists? ….and more. I’ve been to 2 therapist who had NEVER heard of cPTSD and did not recognize I was SO co-dependent (I didn’t know it then- but I certain know it now). It’s like Richard Grannon said- “Therapists who understans adult children of Narcissists and cPTSD are about as rare as rocking horse shit”. I believe him.

  4. Thanks for the response. I was raised by a violent narcissist and have walked this path from C-PTSD, depression and six minths of severe agoraphobia to healed, to activated to healing again.

    Understand complex PTSD from childhood is harder to heal. Our minds are not developed and trauma gets intertwined with brain development. Parts get traumatized and stuck.

    You can look up therapists that you insurance covers and find out good information. Their specialty and therapies they use during a session is often shared.

    Look for a therapist who uses ACT acceptance and commitment therapy or DBT, dialectic behavioral therapy. These are hybrid cognitive behavioral therapies with mindfulness used as an integral tool.

    Trauma is stored in the right amygda., an almond shaped brain organ that can not be accessed consciously. So it follows meditating, slowing down, going below consciousness may offer a way to quicker healing

    Check out my breathing model and path. I removed all the abstract and everything not needed.

    Daily action, daily focus and daily application power healing.

    Also exercise your butt off. Aerobic to exhaustion if possible. Change to healthy eating habits if you want a mind and body fix.

    Never give up never give in

  5. Posted by Laurie on February 1, 2018 at 6:41 pm


  6. Posted by pattyspathtohealing on February 1, 2018 at 7:11 pm

    I love that my therapist tells me all thhe time that I have all I need to heal within me already. She says her job is to help me find those things in me through some guidance, some techniques, and some cheerleading. It is working.

    I would ask a new therapist if they have healed people like you before. If they say yes, run for the hills. They have healed nobody.

  7. When I was searching for a psychologist, I had a written list of criteria.

    * A woman older than me
    * Non-Religious
    * Wouldn’t hand me a bunch of mindfulness pamphlets and send me in my way
    * Understood the semantics of cult mind control
    * Understood the semantics of child sexual abuse
    * Could assist with family dynamics
    * Would not rush me
    * Would definitely be neutral an non-opinionated
    * Had a soft demeanor and an ability for patience

    My questions weren’t about ME or whether I could do THEIR homework assignments. They were about their qualifications and demeanor. I am the one paying the bill, so the connection had to be there.

    Because I defined my own needs I interviewed therapists. I was not rude or disrespectful. I was simply firm with what I know my needs are.

    This is how I guide abuse survivors in looking for a therapist. There are too many Life coaches and unqualified people claiming to have the knowledge to deal with all Trauma. While life coaches have their place, deep trauma survivors are less apt to feel or be further abused and victim blamed when we have taken the time to define our needs and find someone who understands them.

    With that said, I found an incredibly deep and wise woman with 30 years of experience who not only gets my story, but is truly vested and interested.

    Thanks for being concerned with making sure people are properly matched with those who may be able to give them proper support. 💞

  8. Thanks for the responses. You are helping those who read and searching for a way out.

    Vennie, excellent work.

    You need not ask yourself if you will do the work.. the effort you gave compiling your questions tells me you are a doer.

    Great that you are the quarterback of your healing

    Hope others will heed your advice.

    We need to accept our plight, our trauma, our depression, etc,

    Then accept responsibility

    We die the same day, same hour no matter if you avoid, ruminate and suffer it take responsibility, action and heal

  9. Posted by bethanyk on May 5, 2018 at 3:41 am

    Ummmm…. I NEVER thought about asking these questions!!! What was I thinking. I’m soo glad you posted this because I go in all pathetic like please accept me and save me not even thinking I should be interviewing them to see if they are a good fit or if their intentions are my intentions. This has been very enlightening. I cannot thank you enough!

  10. Your welcome

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