C-PTSD:–Passion for Life;—Have you misplaced yours?

Andrea Trenbeath

A passion for life, energy to take action in the face of distraction, adversity, doubt, fear, or anxiety contains so much happiness. Then we get depressed when PTSD suppresses it.
Fear and terror camouflaged my passion, numbed my senses to bear my misery, and brought avoidance as a daily survival activity. Life changed into some shadow world of constant elevated cortisol levels, multiple triggers violently exploding, and a mindset of helpless to calm my nervous system.
When I hit bottom, believing healing would never happen, I searched for my passion, my willpower. That day I pledged to live passionately and become obsessed with effort.
Everyday, I meditated for four hours, read voraciously about trauma, exercised till exhaustion and tried to apply my focus to thoughts and emotions. My whole being was now focused on all out effort. Results were beyond my control, I could live with an action regimen like this.
If I did not heal, I would live my life in giving all out effort in the face of this disorder. Looking back this strength amazes me. I was stubborn, I would not let this disorder limit my effort in any way, that is all.
The human spirit is capable of many miracles if we unleash our passion inside.

3 responses to this post.

  1. funny as I look back and analyze why, I see that I gave up on a goal of healing and that freed me to take action. I needed not worry about results for the first time in my life.

    I was responsible for my own effort, well that was cake, I always gave my all. then I must of had some redeeming qualities even strengths hidden.

  2. I really like this one!

  3. I can relate to this….PTSD left me too fighting through the daily fear and terror you mention. I became determined it wouldn’t take everything away from me, I picked my focus and my fights, and accepted the rest. Acceptance helped shift things, but my stubborn refusal to let go of other things helped my stability and sense of continuity 🙂

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