More of What Healing Looks Like

Imagine this picture represents you as a traumatized child.  You feel helplessness and terror. As vulnerable as any child feels facing an angry, grown, adult with physical size and maturity. It is better to close our eyes and brains off than experience the unknown terror we imagine.

Feeling numb is better than facing the trauma terror.  As this disassociated child, filled with the terror drugs of cortisol and adrenaline, she reaches a point when facing that trauma becomes impossible for her now.  When fear has enough drugs and emotional charge to freeze us, we then hide.  In this highly aroused state, the best thing we can do might be to ride it out and get home.

Limit the exposure for now.

The unknown can be terrifying.  When you develop tools of directed attention, situations like this become easier. The unknown becomes less terrifying.

Failure does not exist

Eventually, the stress reaction drugs (cortisol and adrenaline) stop flooding the nervous system.  They get bored and stop feeding on each other.

4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by fikadax on April 26, 2011 at 8:32 am

    “It is better to close our eyes and brains off than experience the unknown terror we imagine.” My experience is, hear I am. I have done and I do a lot of my own. Your blog, support and guiding are very important. But also need some one living person besides me – a therapist – too open up. I am sure that I am still close my eyes and brain off, and then I yous all my tools to get more open I need someone to be near and beside me so I can stay focused and help me use my tools even then the strongest triggers take place in my body ( some kind of exorcism meant as joke 🙂 🙂 ) Therefore I have asked for help by a therapist. I am so deeply afraid of the most darkest thoughts and feelings connected with them, even if i now knew they are not me, they belongs to the past. I want to be free, happy and live a life with trust and happiness.

  2. That is a normal reaction. Be easy with it and keep working. Yes they seem very powerful and that is the delusion or illusion, your choice. Look at it this way, the fear you remember is cortisol and adrenaline two drugs, so nothing supernatural or any other thing a thought has.

    That thought has no power. It wants you to think about it and conclude as your ego has that it is dangerous.

    That is the trauma defending it place. It knows if you stay present it will die as a fraud. Call the bluff and stay present. You can have the feeling of anything, fear, terror, nuclear bomb but it is your trauma and ego speaking to fool you into staying in that shadow area where its cloudiness gives it cover.

    Bring it out in the open and see it, gently using your mindfulness. The more you can stay away from thoughts and here now, the more it heals every day.

    Know that you are chipping away each day you come here and practice your mindfulness. Keep up the work and the fear that will seem dangerous however if you stay calm it will fade. It is impermanent. Arrives the harder or more effort directed at healing. When you start to integrate your trauma it will act up and it is confusing. This chaos is healing and integrating. Have the feelings of fear and danger and be present. Follow it like a detective and it will heal if you don’t engage it. Good luck and good work.

  3. Posted by fikadax on April 27, 2011 at 9:04 am

    Thanks a lot, just now it is important for med to understand and get help, I feel much more safe and sure about what I am searching for, makes effort for and I also have to trust, and that is also important…. have a nice moment 🙂 🙂

  4. Yes you have to trust you will heal because when we integrate it may seem we are going south. However the ego gets pissed and flares up right before you integrate things at times. What ever happens go sit and be present. It s good to sit when a arousal happens from trauma. It is right before you and asking you to observe it and see it is a lame prediction about you and the future. Just like our thinking stopping traffic this thought stinks and has no value.

    It will fade and value for you will here and now to live and experience it all without distraction from the past, yesterday or childhood.

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